I know where you are. I Feel You

[Take a deep breath in...... and out..... Let's Go]

I used to sacrifice my happiness for the sake of others, too.

I used to try my best to bend my personality to fit someone else’s standards.

I used to feel lonely but always terrified to connect.

I used to make excuses for my actions even though they were justified. 

I used to cover how I truly felt to avoid pissing off my lover.

I used to wonder why my childhood was different and not like the movies. 

I used to wonder why my father didn't love me. 

I used to wonder why I wasn't good enough. 

I used to put my needs and wants on the back burner to help others accomplish their dreams.

I used to battle with depression. 

I used to be an alcoholic. 

I used to try to escape my reality.

I used to think I was too much to handle.

I used to feel unworthy of a different reality because of the guilt from my current one.

I used to be the one to be the fuck up in all of my relationships.

I used to feel numb inside.

I used to feel I didn't deserve to cry.
​
I used to mistreat everyone I [thought] I loved. 

I used not know what love truly was. 

I used to feel hopeless and lost.

I used to never know when things would "get better."

I used to wonder why me.

I used to think I was cursed. 

I used to beg for the pain to stop.

I used to walk on eggshells to keep the peace.

I used to cry late at night, in silence so no one else could hear.

I used to dim my light so I would not outshine others.

I used to apologize for being myself.

I used to.

But then...

I remembered....


[to be continued]